Boiling Blood
I have a great intention to glide through life on a serene plane of tranquillity, unruffled by the daily irritations, frustrations and setbacks that are the stuff of most people’s lives. That’s the theory anyway. There are two big giveaways that tell me I have someway to go. One is the ability to wake at 4.30 am with something on my mind that in the day time gives me no great grief, but in the darkness of the early hours assumes monstrous significance. All the worst possible outcomes leer at me with a taunting look that says – so you think you are so spiritual do you, now look at you, a right royal mess!
The other giveaway is when something technical goes wrong at a Sunday service. It is almost impossible for me not to go from 0 to 10 on the frustration scale. It’s like a Ferrari accelerating from 0 to 60 mph. It is scary just how out of control I am for those few seconds, or sometimes minutes. I feel sorry for the technical guys on the desk who have to endure my haranguing and poorly concealed boiling blood. Usually it’s no one in particular’s fault, and they do a fantastic job with little thanks (Sorry guys).
So I guess I’m not quite as spiritual as I thought. And I’m so glad that God doesn’t get frustrated like that with me, he is so patient and understands my human frailties. He has forgiven before I have even asked. He smiles when he sees me messing up. He encourages me to keep going and not beat myself up. He gives me grace.
I pray I would have the same grace for others.
